Now

I came home today with the thoughts and feelings that I didn't belong. Everywhere I go, and in almost everything I do, I can't say I feel "part of the group". Sunday at Youth Symphony I felt different than most, a lack of motivation to be there playing my instrument, and not that much in common with my peers. Today at a small Brain Bowl match between North and South I again found myself out of place, caring to laugh at, rather than engage in the random and somewhat strange topics of conversation discussed by my teammates. Monday morning, I found myself walking by the cars of basketball players at practice, when I came to the realization that I would not again care to sacrifice much of my time to play a spotlighted and committed Varsity sport such as Soccer or Basketball. Even with some friends I feel as if they don't always care for me to be in their presence. I really don't know what to make of how I'm feeling, perhaps that I'm just ready to move on in life. That said, how does a person move on to something new, when they don't feel a strong base of belonging, support and friendship to fall back on?