Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to everyone! I hope you all have a wonderful day, doing things you enjoy with the people you love; I know I will.

Christmas Time

This Christmas Season has raised my spirits in unexpected ways. First, the return of my brother takes me back to the 'golden day's. He returned home for Thanksgiving, but it just was not the same only having three days to enjoy him being around the house. Secondly, getting out of school for two entire weeks is a much welcomed, much needed break. I've never felt so eager to escape the halls, the teachers, most of the people, and the drama that is South Medford High School.

One thing I'm feeling awfully excited about this year is giving gifts to others. It's ironic that this year I truthfully cannot think of one thing I really want, yet I'm excited at the thought of getting things for others. Perhaps, its the realization that this is my last Christmas where I'll be at home before and after the holidays; I'm not sure. That seems to be my outlook on a lot of things lately. Since I'll be headed off to college next year I tend to look at each thing I do as the last time. I know that may seem weird, but that's just me. If anything its been an encouragement to do more stuff, like going to basketball games, hanging out with different people...that type of stuff.

Either way, I'm looking forward to celebrating the birth of Jesus with my family and friends, right here in Jacksonville. Maybe even Sunriver too, if I'm lucky.

After my Sun vanished, I thought one glimmer of light shone through the dark tunnel of life, one last person who kept that faith and friendship. Now that light is questionable. Perhaps she's still there, as before, the fog just covers her beam. I messed up, and for that I'm sorry. I am probably getting what I deserve.

College Essay II

Here is another taste of an essay I just wrote for my college application to Stanford University. I am more pleased with this one, as I believe having more words to use helped me to better express myself.

It was early; it was late. For me, a novice member of the South Medford Swim Team, both appeared to be true. Well-known as a time to be trudging through last-minute homework, five in the morning was not a place that I liked visiting…ever. However, when the opportunity presented itself to join my peers at the YMCA for swim practice, I snapped it up. Why? The reason escapes me.

After my first day of waking up to the fire alarm-like sound of my alarm clock at 5 a.m., the glassy waters at the pool quickly cooled me off. The workout exhausted my body, leaving it in a state of disbelief. Swimming, a sport no usually associated with the proverbial “blood, sweat, and tears” of other activities, proved itself a modern example of Darwin’s survival of the fittest. The first practice behind me, and still that question loomed in my mind, “Why are you here?” It takes guts to flail around at the “Y” for two hours, face submerged in water while your muscles attempt to operate with the short supply of oxygen that comes courtesy of only being able to breath every third stroke.
Perhaps that is the reason I subjected myself to such torture every morning for months on end? No, I’m not a masochist! As a competitor, I thrive on the challenge, the discipline, the willpower it takes to finish the race.
With daily practice comes a daily routine, rituals that help my body to function when my brain doesn’t want to get out of bed. During the cold winter months of swim season, nothing is left unscathed in the night by Mother Nature. Changing out of my warm pajamas is only possible after the dryer has tossed my sweats for several minutes, giving them the heat to scare away my chills and shivers. While waiting, I battle several yards from the front door to my car, which is frozen over, and needs to be started. If I don’t die from hypothermia, I am always afraid that heave eyelids will overcome, leaving me vulnerable to falling asleep at the wheel. Before I go, I make sure to tell my parents I love them.
Every day, I dip my foot into the water, as if it might have gotten warmer since I last was there. This remains my biggest challenge each day, making that decision. I stand inches from the edge, knowing I don’t need to stay, knowing that a warm bed and a cuddly puppy await me in my room should I turn around and never come back. Jumping in signals the point of no return. Frigid water encapsulates my flesh, triggering a response to swim, and keep swimming until my body heat rises and I can swim no more. Free will is not a fun thing at a moment like that, but with my goal in mind, I descend into that unforgiving cube.
Besides the exhaustion and lack of sleep, several less talked about side effects are associated with swimming every morning. The main one being the smell. Like chicken marinating in the fridge overnight, a swimmer is left with the pungent odor of chlorine that no soap or body wash can take away. Not only do you reek of it, you sweat it. Any strenuous activity outside of the pool will cause you to perspire chlorine-scented sweat. It doesn’t go away, but the girls sure do. Practice, exhaustion, weird odors, and sore muscles, will it ever stop?
There is no foreseeable future for a person like myself in swimming. The district meet is a showcasing of the top talent in the conference, something I am not. I remain the poster child of swimmers who advocate less revealing swimsuits. Despite my downfalls, I continue in this extreme sport. Being motivated by discipline is a powerful phenomenon that can inspire humans to reach for a goal, no matter its measure.
So what has been my goal? What payoff has given me the willpower to take that chilly plunge each dawn? I see life in holistic terms- I am the essence of my mind, body and spirit. I can now admit that my steely mind of fullness of spirit where hindered at times by my body’s shortcoming, primarily a lack of fitness. By choosing to swim, I have acquired a resource I did not have before, finding more time to pursue my personal fitness goals. I have traded slumber for swimming and the results have been extremely satisfying. Sure, it was a rocky road to travel, but with the right attitude and a strong determination, it is possible to conquer any goal. It is all a matter of believing in oneself.

College Essays

In applying to various colleges, I have been asked to write many essays to give them a better idea of who I am as a person. Here is a short essay I just wrote for my application to Stanford University:

What is meaningful? While one person might propose “meaningful” as a suggestion of success or accomplishment, another might argue “meaningful” is merely something that exists, or has meaning. To me, “meaningful” signifies a person, place, or event that has added value, created purpose, or fashioned character in my life. One such meaningful experience occurred this last June in the impoverished town of Rosarito, Mexico.

After months of fundraising, spiritual preparation, and nearly an 18 hour bus ride later I found myself setting up camp on a plateau in the middle of a desert near Rosarito, Mexico. Nearly 100 other high school-age kids from my church had made the same decision to forgo the comforts of their lives in Southern Oregon to construct eight homes for eight needy families. Through the process of building a home for a Mexican family I encountered a life changing experience. I can’t recall ever working so hard and yet, having so much fun. I discovered that in serving others and giving of myself that I was paid back in riches far greater than material wealth. In doing this mission trip, I accomplished my greatest success in doing something that impacted me deeply, something that will have a long term effect on the lives of others, leaving me with a tremendous sense of self satisfaction that will stay with me for a life time.

Give Blood

For the first time in my life today, I donated blood. We had a blood drive at school, which was organized by a girl for her senior project. And I decided that since I am healthy, and 17 it would be exciting for me to get my blood drawn. After being filled with food and water from the "snack table", filling out paper work, and waiting in my chair for a considerable amount of time, I was lead to a lawn chair type set up, where I was hooked up and taken care of.

I was thoroughly impressed by the simplicity of the whole procedure, and am looking forward to donating my blood as often as possible (something like every 56 days.) This is a great cause, and a very easy process. I walked into the gym this morning, a tad nervous, due to the fact that it was my first time, and I was all alone. It was very much comforting when several friends arrived to go through this fairly painless procedure with me.

Several of the tests given before the actual blood were taken were quite interesting, but all necessary considering the seriousness of where the blood is going. This included filling out a questionnaire with many explicit questions that were more entertaining that they were informational, but it was well worth it. I would encourage anyone reading this to go out and donate your blood as it will prove to be a simple, exciting, and somewhat rewarding experience

Supersize Me

With the holiday season in full swing, I could think of nothing better than cuddling up in a pile of blankets with friends and family to watch a movie. Supersize Me caught my eye. I had heard about the premise of the movie from others, but I never really had enough interest to pick it up. Well, after viewing Alexander on last week, and a string of various other unsuccessful films, I decided a documentary was in order.

This documentary is rather simple, it follows Morgan Spurlock as he goes on a 30-day "McDiet" where he consumes nothing but fast food from McDonald's, breakfast lunch and dinner for 30 days. Sick. He came up with the idea after law-suits were filed against the fast food industry claiming their food made people fat. Duh. I was unsure about what this movie could tell me about fast food that I didn't know, but I was quite surprised.

After having doctor's check his health before, during, and after this experiment there was a great decline in the quality of his health. In 30 days he gained 25 pounds, had heart palpatations, and basically destroyed his liver. He lacked energy, became irritable and even found himself craving a McFix at times.

Weaved into this narrative of a man surviving 30 days on nothing but McDonald's are segments shedding light on the obesity pandemic in America, deceptive advertising of fast food companies, and the history of fast food. These segments help explain quite a bit, and really add to the case against consuming fast food.

I would recommend this movie to anyone. It was interesting, intellectual, and will serve as an eye-opener to anyone that watches it. Before watching "Supersize me" the idea of consuming McDonald's or any fast food for that matter was gross, and now I find it slightly appalling. Does this mean you will never find me in a McDonald's or Dairy Queen looking for a cheap and easy meal? Of course not! Just not as frequently.

Poetry Perhaps

From time to time I hope to post poetry on my blog. I was really introduced to poetry by my Junior Honors English teacher, but have not had the chance to write anything lately. Here is one I penned this afternoon.

Because Of You Not I...

A chance acquaintance not long ago
Your innocent laugh that caught my eye
That one moment seemed to spell forever
Shattered by you not I

Hope dangled on for weeks, even for months,
One question exists, which could have changed it all
From heaven you fell, into my life
A gift from God himself

Because of you my life was changed
Our friendship grew like spring
It was I that held back the one true thing
I wanted to tell you most.

Harbored inside, it killed me to wait
But not knowing killed me even more
Then he came along, he entered your life,
It appeared I could Be no more

Because of you my heart was broke,
Torn all up inside.
I waited and watched to see if it was true
Perhaps it was just a lie

Though short lived it was, it still made a point
On that List I was not meant to be
For if it had been, you’d see me as I saw you,
a person to be with me

Only God will know what could have been,
Only time will tell
Until that time we meet with him
I hope we can exist as friends.

Protect Yourself

There are few times in school, that a tedious discussion in the classroom will insight rage, create anger, and provoke questions as to the validity of the subject being taught. Despite this, I found last Tuesday in Family Health a prime example of this.

For the first nine weeks of school I've found myself content in Family Health, satisfied with sitting in a hard desk for ninety minutes, falling into a zen-like trance, zoning out Mr. Ringo, and still maintaining a near perfect score in the class. I don't particularly enjoy talking about the ideal family, my future partner, or the different types of love, but I realize I must in order to graduate. I was content until last week when a lady from the Jackson County Health Department, Toni Drew, entered our classroom.

She came to discuss STD's (sexually transmitted diseases) and pollute our minds with worthless propaganda about "safer sex" and protection. While I don't consider myself adamantly opposed to that message, I found the way in which she presented herself appalling.



Certain phrases touted by Ms. Drew, that I found unnecessary or disconcerting were "I'm not here to tell you not to have sex, I hope you have GREAT SEX", and "There is no safe sex, but there IS safer sex". Obviously, these are not outrageously vulgar or gross, but they do send the wrong message to teenagers, in my opinion. Kids don't need to be encouraged, or told that sex is some exciting mystery that they should try and discover. While I realize that sex is a GREAT thing, I also realize that its a GREAT thing created by God for a man and a woman in a marriage, not a relationship many Juniors and Seniors in high school find themselves involved in.

What I found most discouraging and disgusting about her presentation was the infamous slide show of STD's. While I can understand talking about STD's, discussing symptoms, and even showing appropriate methods of birth control, I don't find showing STD's on peoples genitals or faces educational in the least bit. I managed to divert my site while this occurred by writing a note to a friend. Unfortunately I glanced up once when the class erupted into laughter when Ms. Drew showed a slide of a male penis with barnacle like growths protruding from it. I am extremely upset that I looked up, but at the same time I realized the classes reaction was appropriate, as it symbolized the message of the whole class period. Toni Drew and what she had to say was a joke.

I realize that STD's are a pandemic, especially among people in our culture, and especially the high school and college ages. Regardless, the methods used our school to teach kids how to avoid contracting STD's and getting pregnant is abysmal. While I can't suggest any miracle cures for this, I can testify to the ineffectiveness of the way it's taught right now.

Senior Year Part One- Recap

Despite a few bumps along the road, and myriad road-stops taken, the first quarter is over, finished, Ya Termina! I have conflicting feelings about this, as I've enjoyed many comforts and new experiences recently, but have also suffered pains as well.

I suppose that like anything in life the positives and the negatives will balance out. Here is a list of what I loved about the first quarter, and things I'm happy to say goodbye to.

things I loved about the first quarter
homecoming with Sarah
football games
Spanish 4 with Bleicher at North
Anna, Jenna, Sammie, Tom, Court, Mayer, B-shaw, Carly, Wags
Saturday Night Worship with my favorite people
Doing my first SMHS drama play, "Wanted: One Groom"
muchas gracias for lunch
Getting into the Youth Symphony of Southern Oregon
anatomy study group :-)
b-shaw, nick, and me = girls soccer team fans for life
FIERCEness
hmm, bush re-election
can you say text messanging
Friday night Red Robin's
THE BURB
playing guitar and rocking out
shorts, a shirt, and my reefs

things I won't miss about first quarter
my bro being in colorado springs
everyone and their stepmom leaving for college or New Zealand (haha Preston)
Two Words: Family Health
not exercising for nine weeks because I'm a lazy bloke
Almost every other class I have- AP Lit, AP Stats, Orchestra
missing the season premier of The O.C.
Brain Bowl Tuesdays at lunch
re-injuring my knee
girl drama (developing)
SAT's: the sequel
My car getting hit with $1000 dollars damage, without knowing who hit it
not knowing what to do sometimes
college applications
playing guitar and crying
the political season in general

'Tis the Season

While it is definitely not Christmas time, not even Thanksgiving, It Is Halloween Time. I had no idea before tonight that Halloween could be a seasonal time of celebration. I got a taste of what that's like tonight at a close friend's pumpkin carving party. Apparently, this is an annual event where various family and friends gather to carve numerous pumpkin's to place in this friends front yard. I really enjoyed the time spent with friends carving pumpkins, eating food, throwing around the football, and chilling. As fun as this all was, I must say it was somewhat bittersweet as this will be my last Halloween before I go off to college at either the Air Force Academy, Stanford, or somewhere else. Tonight was very nice for me, especially getting to spend time with people I really care about. It was much different than any other pre-Halloween festivity I have ever participated in before. I loved it.

Go Panthers

Alright, so apparently I'm now writing to a total of 3 people now, Dustin, myself, and maybe Donnie? That is not problem, alas I still enjoy converting my thoughts to words. But if you do read, feel free to comment, even just to say hi.

I just returned home from the North vs. South Volleyball game. Much to my satisfaction South dominated, beating North 3-1, and completing a season sweep of the Black Tornado. I found myself quite stoked, but at the same time a tad melancholy as my stomach ached the whole time, and a certain someone didn't show up. Either way, a great time was had, and I even had some time to talk with my bro between one of the games. After taking a 14 page Literature final today, I feel drained, and tired. This coupled with the absence of homework makes me want to go to bed....Now. I just have one last thing to say, Mary I straight up dominated your test, What's up now?

Childhood Memories

Today I was playing tennis in Jacksonville, in the Pheasant Meadows neighborhood, and right beside our court a group of 10 or so elementary-school-age kids were playing flag football. While it is not out of the normal for this to happen, I must say, seeing this today was quite different. I witnessed the unbridled innocence of youth. Not that I feel old, but I must admit that seeing those kids made me long for those day in my youth, the ones free of any worries, hakunamatada. I can remember those days quite well. The old neighborhood, carriage lane; touch football, basketball, four-square, hockey- all in the streets or a neighbors yard. No homework to hinder our thoughts, or keep us indoors. Only dinnertime prevented us from embracing the freedom of sport and fellowship.

These days seem all too complicated. Weighed down by the nonsense of school and extracurricular activities, caught up in the drama of friendships, relationships and other foolishness. Back then time stood still, a day seems like it could have lasted a whole week. Now time is precious commodity, and in this autumn season it really does fly like the wind! I hate to sound like I'm complaining, I enjoy my life right now quite a bit. I have been blessed with a family and friends that truly care about me, and that I can truly care for. School has gone great, been easy, and I even did a play for the first time. I suppose things are neither better or worse than they were back in the days when I called myself a Jacksonville Pioneer, just different. Change is abound is all, almost constant. It sure would be nice if some parts of life were easy controlled....manipulated, but alas they aren't. The only thing we can do is play out our cards as they're dealt. Or is it possible to go back to that state of mind, one a child, and not worry about the cards? Will pretending that they don't exist simplify life, or cover the many answers and patterns that we have figured out about life as we develop? Who knows; I sure don't.

Weekend Retreat

There exists one place, special to my heart, a modern Sharngri-La of sorts called Sunriver. Located just 15 minutes from Bend, Oregon, Sunriver is the perfect combination of the outdoors and civilization. I have been quite blessed to be able to frequent this small euphoric sanctuary, as my Grandpa, "papa" to me, owns a house there. He bought the house as an investment, one to rent to the many tourists that flock to Sunriver, but whenever it's not occupied our family is free to head up there.

This weekend was special as my mom's side of the family, all 11 of us and 6 dogs, gathered to celebrate Papa's 71st birthday. Ironically enough we all live in the Medford/Jacksonville area, but felt it necessary to drive the 3 hours to Sunriver to spend time together. I am not going to complain in the least. My family arrived at 8pm Friday night, to the familiar fresh air, and aroma of nature that I remember so well. After settling in, we congregated in the main room to talk, eat an assortment of cheese and fruits, and watch playoff baseball. Let me tell you, getting to sleep at 10:45 on a Friday night might seem crazy at home, but in Sunriver it is normal, and welcomed.

After waking at 8:00 and enjoying the jacuzzi with my dad, we headed to the Sunriver Coffee Co., in the Sunriver Mall for a morning Latte and Hot Cocoa. A meal was being prepared by my aunt at the house, but we decided to get drinks because we could. We got home in time to enjoy pumpkin pancakes, and homemade syrup (my aunt loves to cook if you couldn't tell). It was glorious. We headed into town for an unsuccessful day of shopping, but did get the chance to enjoy lunch at one of my favorite stores, Wild Oats Market. They have a wide selection of organic and natural foods, as well as an extensive deli. I split a slice of cheese pizza and some spicy tuna sushi with my sister Kelly. For dessert we enjoyed a triple layered mousse, again delicious. I love going to Bend, particularly for shops such as Wild Oats, because no stores in Medford can begin to compare to their uniqueness and selection.

When we got back to the house, I went for a nice bike ride with my dad, and took in the lovely views of Mt. Bachelor, the three Sisters, and the golf course. This gave me a great opportunity to get out of the house, and talk with my dad; not just another talk about the weather, the playoffs, or school, but a real discussion about life. It was special, as I haven't had the chance to spend this type of quality time with my family since the school year began. I returned to Jacksonville today, refreshed after a weekend retreat to Sunriver.

Allow me to introduce myself

A whole post into this Blog, and I must apologize for now introducing myself to the person(s)(?) that are reading this. My name is Sean David Rotbart, and I'm presently a Senior, attending South Medford High School. I'm 17 years of age, and my hobbies include tennis, sand volleyball, viola, acting, taking long naps, shopping, and reading.

I created this blog for a myriad of reasons. After reading the blogs of several friends Donnie
, Scott, and Preston I have decided that creating my own would give me the opportunity to share my thoughts and opinions on various topics. I find writing an enchanting way to express my feelings, and put whatever is running though my head into words. Also, I find myself with quite a wealth of free time these days. Hopefully, I can spend some quality time blogging, and entertaining you as well.

Speaking of entertaining people; I will be performing in one of three one-act plays at South Medford, Wednesday and Thursday at 7 pm. Each of the three plays is directed by Brandon Manley, Steve Emerson, and Ralph Emerson for their senior projects. I'm in Ralph's play called "Wanted: One Groom". I play Richard, an attractive 22 year old law student, who is very interested in antiques. This play is very funny in my opinion, and you should see it, and decide for yourself. I am very excited, as this is the first time I have gotten involved in a drama production in my tenure at South. It comes with part of my "you should try most things once philosophy", that I would want to be in a play before graduating. I find myself fairly calm, considering that there is less than a day till we perform, but I am confident in the great friends that will be playing along side of me, including Jenna Johnson, Shawn Freshour, Dene Anderberg, and Bethany Finear. It should be quite enjoyable.

Unrequited Feelings...

I guess this is going to be a new extension of my 1-post-old blog. I set it up too quickly and gave little thought to its name, design, and other aesthetics. Finding myself unsure of the days ahead, i've come here to put my thoughts into words. It seems i've entered a realm, of teenage drama and passion; one i've narrowly avoided in recent years. Right now I ponder the broad spectrum of human emotion, and how the slightest action or non-action can alter one's reality. While I can't say exactly why melancholy looms over my persona right now, it seems instinctive to write. I suppose it's therapeautic.
One explanation for my muddled dispotion at this time is my car. My exquisite baby, one i've cared for immaculately for the past 14 months got hit by another car while in the South parking lot, while I was cheering South to victory. I try to love her just the same, but that love feels tainted, changed by her new appearance. Needless to say, whoever hit her drove off without leaving me a note or anything, just a damaged car. This event has just been one in a myriad, that have made this weekend a downer.
Another cause is girls, but i guess thats nothing new for teenagers. I guess it comes with great force for me, as i consider myself a nice young man. And for now, I have to agree with the old adage "nice guys finish last". Only time will tell, but lets hope the near future can disprove that. I believe i have exhausted myself for this post. Hopefully i will bring better news come tomorrow or whenever i decide to write again.