Things they don't teach you in elementary school

The more expensive a cheese is, the worst it will taste. Forget eight dollar brie, buy Kraft singles.

Martina Hingis: Sports New Steriod Scandal

Since no other legitimate news source has come forward with this story, I would like to formally announce that there is yet another case of steroid use among pro athletes. Female tennis star Martina Hingis has been accused (by Me) of taking steroids. Hingis is a top female tennis player and currently is in the semi-finals of the Australian Open, the year's first major. Now in her defense, I have no concrete evidence, no blood tests, no urine analysis, nor have I even ever seen Martina Hingis in person. I do however have this picture. (Click the hyperlink for a bigger pic)

Check out those arms! I would kill for that kind of definition, since I am a guy and have a penis. This look for Martina is not so good, and is most likely due to heavy steroid use, or the injection of massive quantities of bovine hormone. Case Closed.

Feel free to disagree, but you will be wrong.

Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener

Or a squinty eyed Asian. Allow me to explain why. You see, Thursday night I was up to til 4 am doing various and sundry things, neglecting the fact that I had to be up for breakfast at 7. Well, the rest of the day I was hurting to keep my eyes open. I was tired, my eyes were tired, and it took quite some exertion to keep my eyes open in class. Then I began to think, "hmm, I wonder how much easier it would be to keep my eyes open, if... say I was Asian??? Now, I hope this doesn't sound racist or whatever. I guess you could say I'm actually in admiration of those people of the Asian persuation.
You can see I've done some technical analysis, using the latest in today's technology* and it would in fact be almost 8 times easier to keep my eyes open if I were in fact oriental. Combined with tiredness factor (x2) and that's 16 times easier. Wouldn't that be amazing? I've heard of people with squinty eyes getting surgery to make them less squinty, more American looking, which makes me wonder if there is a reverse procedure for people like myself. Just a thought.

*technology used was Microsoft Paint and numbers are actually made up

A Quick Note On The War

"Peace in our time" was a phrase, I believe it was coined by Churchill back during the First World War. It is amazing how far our society has come. Progress is beautiful. And I believe that is exactly what this war is; Progress. In the information era that we currently find ourselves in, it was almost inevitable that a war would occur in cyberspace.

My friends, the Southern Oregon Blogosphere is on the cutting edge of war fighting in this country.... no, in this world. It was all sparked by Preston's post. Like Hitler annexing Austria, we felt a need to take action. Our fearless new leader, Scott Barthalomew Jeter III emerged, and took charge of the blogosphere. His presence was immediately felt. The war ended quickly, with no casualties, and in the day or so that Scott has ruled his presence has been felt.

Dustin wrote a new post. Sam Sabori was named best non-white blogger of the year by Eric Loeffler. It's a beautiful thing. Now, I await response from former head of the SOB, Donald Ronald Jeter IV. What will he say?

To recap, the worlds first cyberspace war has occured in the SOB. Immediate progress ensued in the form of updates and more SOB interaction. The outlook is bright for this blogosphere friends. Perhaps, we should take over other spheres in an effort to create better blogging throughout this great nation. That is just a thought though.

Commentary on The Blogging Wars

Blogging wars don't determine who is right, only who is left.

Blogging for peace is like fucking for virginity.

No Blogging. No Peace. Know Blogging. Know Peace.

The blogging wars have begun folks. Whose side are you on?

Here we go again

First Day

Period 2- Economics: should be very interesting. This teacher is all about money=time=happiness
Period 3/4- Water survival: Validated

Period 5/6-Biology w/lab: My kind of class. It seems like a mix of Anatomy from high school and practical biology (diet, physical training)
Period 7- Intramurals: I think volleyball or soccer

Second Day

Period 2- English 211: My teacher is obsesses with Toni Morrison which should make for an interesting semester
Period 3/4-Electromagnetic Physics: Might as well be a foreign language
Period 5- Management: Very enjoyable, the teacher is awesome
Period 6- Law: Lots of reading
Period 7- Civil Engineering/Air Base Planning: Will be as useless as it sounds

Sounds like a fun semester eh?

Feelings On Altruism

Esther is a nice older late, probably in her late 50's, working at the Academy in the cadet barbershop. She has cut my hair for the past year and a half, and I really like her, and the way she cuts my hair.

Talking to her today about vacation, she told me how she wrecked her car driving to work the day of the big storm, a day where virtually no cadets were getting their hair cut. I felt bad. The only reason she came was because she was ordered to, and she can't afford to use her leave. It turns out the costs for car are like 600 dollars. I am not sure why, but when she told me this, I was like (in my head) hey, I have that much money in my bank account, I should probably just give it to her. That would be awesome.

After leaving, I came to my senses a bit and thought that its probably not the best financial decision to just give away that much money, but at the same time, maybe its the right thing to do. What do you think blogosphere? If you want to contribute, to a "Save Esther's car" fund, I would be more than willing to deliver her your kind donation.

Starting over

"I kissed you in a style, Clark Gable would've admired. I found it classic"

A new semester with new classes, new teachers and new friends started today. It should be quite interesting. Seven classes is a heavy load, but they all interest me. It definitely helps that I validated my "water haze" class today. Validating included swimming 75 ft underwater, jumping off a 5 m board and swimming 75 m in under 1:15. And lastly we had to jump off a 10 m board (32 ft) and make it under a bulk-head 25 m away from the edge of the pool. It was some sweet nessy action if you know what I mean. Good way to start my semester.

So This is the New Year

Ok, so I haven't blogged in what seems like forever. No one has blogged in what seems like forever. Well last night, the ghost of Christmas past visited me in a dream and said that if I didn't blog today I would have bad relationship luck for the next 4 years..... or maybe that was in a myspace bulletin. Either way, I'm blogging now and as far as the relationship luck goes, we'll see if I'm with the girl I want by Sunday when I leave.

Well, for right now, I don't have any best of 2006 lists. I don't have any pictures from what turned out to be a great New Year's Eve. I do have a lot to do in the next several days. That list includes:

Seeing a long list of friends to include Luke, Alex M., Alex B, Jordan and others
Dentists appointment
Going out to breakfast with Papa
Eating good food while I'm still here
and other stuff I really don't feel like writing about because I'm done writing for right now. Peace out SOB, if anyone really is going to read this until after this break's blogging lull.